5 Lessons Learned from Loss

These trying times have awakened overarching emotions of extreme stress, anxiety, and uncertainty in all of us. Even the most grounded person is feeling this internal unrest. The massive changes happening throughout our world impact our personal lives as well as our business and leadership roles.

As I reflect on the current stresses and how it changed my business path in the last year, I’m reminded of the amazing life and business lessons I have learned as a widow at the age of 30.

Growing up, I dreamed, like most young girls do, about the exciting and fulfilling life I would have as an adult. Live throws unexpected curveballs at us. These curveballs can come in many shapes and forms. In my case, I had to face the devastating loss of my husband when I was thirty years old.

How have you experienced loss in recent months and how did you react?

If we can do the hard work, we can accomplish amazing and brilliant growth even in the most trying times.

These top five lessons learned are a reminder of how our internal resources can carry us through daunting challenges.

Get up and Go!

Lesson #1: Get up and get going. Do whatever it takes to make one simple step forward every day.

Grief and anxiety can be so overwhelming that we get to the point of being completely stuck. Performing the most simple and mundane task – getting out of bed and leaving the house – might seem like too much to accomplish

It is important to honor our stresses and the pressure that we’re experiencing. It’s wise to say, “Yes, these are challenging times. I have endured a huge tragedy.”  However, I have learned that, if I was going to move forward, I needed to wake up with the resolve that I will get up, get ready, and do something.

Process your Grief

Lesson #2: Commit to processing your grief and getting back to an awakened life. This is a life where you are flourishing and moving forward with your goals and dreams.

Grieving is good and so grieve when you must.

Does this sound strange? Our society has become very good at pushing away our emotions. Some find it easier to cover them with too much work, drugs, or other addictions.

It is critical for your journey of healing to acknowledge your feelings.  Some people work through them by keeping a journal, others prioritize self-care. Do whatever you need to do to process your feelings. Go for a massage, cry, meditate, take a walk, whatever works for you.

Ask for Help

Lesson #3: Rely on your posse, gather a few mentors, hire a great leadership or life coach who will support you unconditionally, listen to you, and walk next to you on your path to recovery.

Most people, when faced with a huge tragedy or something that’s seemingly overwhelming, become very introverted. This usually happens unintentionally. It’s common to hunker down, get quiet, and disconnect from people – even those that are very close to us. Sometimes this “stepping-back” is necessary just to re-group. However, we are meant to have people around us, supporting us, so that our life is easier.

Let others help you. Form a posse of family, friends, or colleagues, to support you and be your cheerleader.

Embrace Times of Learning

Lesson #4: Embracing times of learning and catching the lessons more quickly could expedite your path to coming out on the other side with more joy, more happiness, and quicker results.

This might seem like a cliché; however, it is often true that the toughest challenges and overwhelming times bring us to the most brilliant and amazing outcomes in every area of our lives. What does it mean to “embrace” times of learning? It can be a sense of knowing that you will come out of this stage living better and more aligned than you had been doing previously. If you are finding this concept hard to grasp, think back to the challenges you’ve had before. Then consider the lessons you have learned from those difficult times. It’s fascinating and nearly miraculous when we consider the bigger picture of our lives.

Choose Victory

Lesson #5: Acknowledge your story of “this happened to me,” and then continue and ask, “What can I do to recover and make my life better?”

The most important lesson I have learned is that, even though I can’t always control what happens in my life, I can always choose how I will react.

So many people, including myself on many occasions, have chosen the path of being the victim of my circumstance. We do it unknowingly. I’m not suggesting that you need to deny the painful severity of your challenge or tragedy. However, in every moment we can choose to be stuck, and decide that we have no options, or we can choose to recover and make our lives better.

The notion of being a victim is very powerful. It gives us a reason to stay unchallenged. What might happen if you choose instead to make the proverbial lemonade out of the lemons?  It may be difficult, but ask, “Is it true that I have no options, or do I choose to live with this story because it releases me from the need to think about a better and more successful solution?”


It’s good to acknowledge that life has thrown all of us some amazingly challenging curveballs. We honor the pain, we honor the struggle, we honor the tragedy and the hard times that are among us. However, we can also look to the light of a future that is hopeful and full of opportunities.

Those who choose to look at this path will come out of challenging times quicker and more successful. You are in control of what you choose. Get out of bed every morning and do something, even if it’s the most basic task. I am in your camp, I am your cheerleader, and so are many others around you.

Commit to make now the perfect time to re-design your present and future paths. This outlook will be magical for you and your life, as well as for those in your sphere of influence. So, let’s do this for the love and good of all.

Good coaches can help you expedite your successes in your relationships, in your personal lives, and in your careers.

If you are seeking support, please reach out. I’m happy to schedule a 30-minute complimentary consultation. I believe in you, I can see the fire in you! Let’s do this now!

Leave a Reply